Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Life goes on...

Well the sickness has little by little left my inner most being. Praise the Lord! I don't like not being myself.

I went to a wedding this last weekend and celebrated the joining of two people. I love weddings. I love dressing up, I love the food, dancing and chatting with friends. I also love to people watch. It is so interesting to me how people function in a group setting. Some most have friend by there side at every turn, others need their personal space and like to sit back and watch people dance instead of move themselves. Some people need to work the room and say hello to all while others enjoy a few personal conversations that take their attention for most of the night. What makes us who we are and what are our motivations?

Thanksgiving is this week and I am ready for some food! So much to be thankful for. My HEALTH, my family, Andy, my job and home. As I grow older, each year and see more of the hardships of this world, some I experience and some I just observe. This year my heart is full of thanks again for another year of blessings. My hope and prayer is to continue to see all that has been given to me just because Christ loves me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Not what they seem

Well last time a wrote life was difficult, but I thought I had an idea how to battle the attacks. Well now I have come to find out a good majority of my attacks have been because of some medicine I have been taking and because I am really sick. I had some blood work done yesterday only to learn my white blood cells are high. So in light of this news, this whole time I have been telling myself "it's in all in your head", not true. Yes, I do struggle with with panic, but all this recent sickness has been just that, sickness. 

It is crazy what longer term sickness does to your life. Makes you stop and think about all the pure things that bring you joy and all the things that are the unnecessary costs. So many things in my life are not the true joy givers. Family, friends, health, these things are a must have. My parents have been true life savers. The other night I was throwing up in my garage and my daddy was there is 2 minuets helping me and cleaning me up. He helped calm my fears and I felt safe with him. My dad was there for me and I was blessed to see his tender heart and compassion. 

Andy has been so great too. There are lots of things women need in a man, but just to have a man who tells me I am beautiful with no weight on me or a shower in many days, this sweet eyes of kindness have helped heal my heart of fear and help with the healing processes. 

In my sickness I have learned just how blessed I am. 

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My battlefield of Panic

I have really been struggling with panic attacks lately. I hate them! They make me feel so scared. They make me feel like a little girl who can’t find her dad, or like someone in my family has just died but I don’t know which one.

I hate the mind sometimes. The power it has to create feelings and then never resolve them. I had an attack last night. I did everything right yesterday, eat a well balanced meal, worked out, when to bed early, and still all the above didn’t keep the monster away.

All I remember is waking up from a bad dream, sweating like crazy and having major stomach problems. And when I say major I mean my body makes me think I have the stomach flu. It is horrible. So I have to start the regiment of getting gum, a wet rag, freezing myself down and then getting someone on the phone to get my mind of the panic. For most people, throwing up is no big deal, but for me it is like one of the worst thing ever. It is most defiantly my biggest fear, throwing up, passing out and dying right there on the floor. And that thought process right there is the problem, in my mind, throwing up leads to death. I have talked through this with therapist, but not much has worked.

Thank fully, the attack normally lifts after about 45 minuets, and this one followed that path. Some day I know I will ever have an attack again. And maybe that was the last one. Maybe I am done with them. That would be really nice.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Flog


I love flog. Days and times like these make me really want to live in Oregon. I feel deep down that Oregon and I are meant to be friends.


I discovered yesterday and Andy and my sister chatted at Star bucks for a bit of time. Something about the idea of my family and Andy interacting with out me around makes me happy. I really want both Andy and my family to be friends with out my presence. I sat and watched a friend eat last night. She made this statement, "Everyone here is to busy". At first I thought, "and your point", but as I let the idea of business being a unnatural element in my life, I started to agree with her.


Several of my friends live in my neighbor and I hardly ever see them. Why? Do I feel welcome at there house, do they feel welcome at mine? How do I start to make changes in my life to welcome people in? How do I learn to be available?



Wednesday, August 13, 2008

John 5:1-9-The Healing at the Pool

John 5 beings with Jesus Traveling back from Galilee where he had just performed his second miracle of healing the Official's Son.

He has just arrived in Jerusalem to participate in a feast. It will either be in celebration of Pentecost or when Mose received the Ten Commandments. The people of this town are desperate to believe that God is with them and that he is good. They have been absent of a prophet for many years and are starting to believe God has left them for another people.

In the center of the town was a temple where people went to feel God. They purchased scarifies and waited to feel renewed. In the front of this temple flowed a pool of water that was occasionally st ired by an angle. The first person in the water would instantaneously be healed. Can you imagine. No more cancer, Aids, Depression. Always around feasts God would heal more people then normal, just to prove he was near.

Then a prophet arrives. 38 year diseased man laid close enough to see and feel the mists of the moving waters, but to far to be the first to get in.

Jesus asks, " Do you want to be healed?" The man gives his reasoning as to why his wants don't line up with his circumstances. " Yes but I can't seem to be the first in"

Jesus heals the man. The healed person doesn't thank him. When asked by the Jews who had healed him on the forbidden Sabbath, he has no knowledge of the man to give.

Latter Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, "See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you." The man went away and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had made him well.

When does Jesus ever put salvation before love?
How often do I put my self-interest before love?

Love is patient and kind.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Crazy weekend :)

Boy Andrew and I had a power packed weekend. The festivities included: a dance lesson swimming, shoping, movie, church, time with friends, time with parents, red-hanks game, and a few naps in between.

Life is fun.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Know the heart behind the blogger.

I love reading people's blogs. I have found it to be interesting who posts and who doesn't and how often they post. Some people post every other day and are raw, open and real. While others post once in a blue moon and don't really give you much. The crazy thing about blogging is that I feel I have gotten to know people more just by reading their blog and they don't even know it.



Some times I feel obligated to tell them I have read their post just so I don't feel so intrusive.



So yesterday I really tried to live in that day. I tried my darness to not live in past memories or future hopes and fears. And the goal is to do it today again. This is very difficult so I have also tried to eat as many blue berries as I possibly could.



Blue berries are anti-oxidants and they also help clear out the brain.



On ward my friends and who knows, maybe I will see you soon.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Blanket of Security.

Every day, I look for my blanket. The blanket of security. I want to see the future and I want my emotions to smile at what it sees.

My blanket is smooth on the outside, but has holes on the inside. I think to myself "Get the blanket, run and find the blanket before you take a step."

The rivers of my heart are all over the place all day long. Some times they are smooth and other times they are a wild river.

Where is that damn blanket. Why would Jesus try and take it from me? Who does he think he is? All I feel most of the time is fear and I just want a blanket.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Kingdom Investments

The Kingdom has been on my mind lately.

I am apart of this Kingdom.

It is not something that is on its way. It is here.

O mind that you would be renewed to know Him and see His Glory.

O spirit that you might live in the freedom already bought and given to you.

O heart, that you would feel the deep rivers of passion the King has for you.

Come Holy Spirit. Come Father. Come My Jesus. Move in the hearts of your loved one. Bring the Life you promise in the land of the living. No more pain, no more waiting. Come now and come to those who doubt. Come close to the one who struggles, come close to the one you is close to death. Break through the PRIDE, Break through the Fear.

Spirit of Restoration come forth. Fruit of the Spirit Grow in dead hearts. Come Lord. Come and use all of me in the process.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Promises of Goodness

God is Good. I promise you, He is good. I cried out to him, and he answered. He answered me.

The goodness of God is Holy, it will change your whole heart.

I can do all things through Christ. ALL THINGS. And he is good, not because I am worthy of it. He is good because that is who he is.

Trust Him. Be in this day. Not the last or the next. Life is only in today.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Dying to Live

I am starting to believe that if a life has been transformed into a new creation, if left to enjoy the goodness of God and of His people, it would naturally tell of His goodness. Being told from very young age that if I love God I will tell of His goodness, has sent me into a life of must dos. I firmly believe that if had never been told to share, it would have happened naturally.

The spiritual warfare is thick these days, not because I believe the kingdom is advancing, but because we are being attacked for the sake of death. I know the Lord will develop fruit in my life from perseverance of ordanary life, but honestly, I don't feel life I am fighting for much these days. Most of my energy goes towards making my plans work. Trying with all my might to work hard at my job, saving money for the future, work on my relationships with my friends, forgive, be normal.

I really don't want to mess with this crap any more. I want to fight for salvation, fight for the breaking of strong holds, shine the light, know all of God's personalities, care for the less fortunate. But instead, I am fighting for my life savings. Bull Shit Bull Shit.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Pieces from the Yellow Road

Proverbs 12:11 -

He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lack judgement.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Big Bug

I got bit by an emotional bug today. Some emotions went through the roof with freedom to live, others emotions went for a swim, with the realization things can't go directions I want them to.

For those of you who don't know Andy Edwards, get to know him. Most diffidently one of my favorite people alive.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The deep joys of treasures not yet found

My heart has some deep movement. I can feel what freedom looks like, but I have no idea how to live it out.



Facts about my heart that are known to me:

Justice and Truth are strong stones

Babies and Children always speak to my heart

I love a clean organized home -random I know.



Andy and I talk alot about life vs the idea of life. Living for tomorrow never today. Hopping at times the fantasies of life might still be true, relationships with out strife, work that feels like play, unending joy with out pain.



Some days I want to be a lawyer and defend the poor, other days I want to be a nurse and deliver babies, and there are days I want to listen to people's struggles and help bring clarity to greyness. All so different. Which way is the yellow brink road?




Wednesday, June 4, 2008

This little lady is Ryan and Kristin's babe. She is playing with her friends while her mother reads from the Word of God at the refuge. Love this family.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The First Time


I just found pieces of my heart again. What if I where to tell you that His Truth will set you heart free.


It's true, when you find Him, all of Him, all you want to do is Worship Him. All you want to do is loose your life. Take my life, take my heart, thoughts, my will.




Monday, June 2, 2008

Starting to see past my driving




He speaks. He moves. So I am trying to respond. Really trying


He is great and greatly to be praise. So I try to praise when I don't see past the wheel.


Only He knows the joys that over flow from the deep rivers in my heart. So I trust, all most all the time.


He speaks with strength. My Lord is mighty to save. I need good strength. I need to feel strength.


He will deliver. He will. So I wait, I will wait. Must wait.


He promises me that I will be complete someday.




1 Cor 1:8 He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.




I have fallen apart, barley breathing, with a broken heart, that is still beating, in the pain, there is healing, in your name, I find meaning...so I am holding on. -Lifehouse






Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Letting go and having to be held

I know, very ugly animal. Not really something that makes me think “cute”. But when I think about my attitude towards “My” will and hopes in life, this animal comes to mind…the badger. They are known for biting down and not letting go.

Biting down and not letting go, what does this remind me of…

I have plans for my life. I have goals and I have aspirations. And I have them in a some what sold grip. However, small detail, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. For those of you who didn’t follow that train of thought, let me spell it out for you.. Contradiction

So what do I have a strong grip on? I have a strong grip on wanting to be happy and secure. I want to know every thing is going to be ok and I will be happy.

From the outside this looks simple. I am holding tightly to myself hoping myself will come through for me. Unfortunately, I don’t trust myself. So this leaves me with a strong grip on nothing.

I must try and retrain my thinking to believe that I am holding nothing but I am the one being held. My whole lively hood is not mine to obtain. All my wants and needs in this life are not mine to fulfill.

If you haven’t seen the recent Narnia, you must. At one point in the movie the oldest girl states she had just gotten used to living in London and then she is whisked way to Narnia. But what she don’t realize is that she and her brothers and sister have been chosen out of the hundreds of millions to save Narnia, to have more adventures and see more things that anyone could ever imagine. But her grip was tightly held to her plan, wanting to live life out of Narnia where it is consistent and safe. I think this girl and I have something in common.

Let us live.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Daughter of Christian Singer Chapman Killed

I obviously don't know this man nor his daughter, but my heart is completely broken. I can't imagine the pain this family feels right now. But Lord Jesus please send your ministering angles to this man's home and family. Keep them close to your heart as they morn. Stand around their hearts and fight for peace, fight in the middle of all their pain.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I don't know why but I really like this photo


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Making a cake


I am stressed. Because of WORK, family drama, and............... my new baby house.


I need to make a cake. Cholochoate to be direct.
No worries, I will just go here emotional

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Over abundance of pain and freedom

Jesus presses me, he presses and pushes on my inners.

Habakkuk 2:20 "But oh! God is in his holy Temple! Quiet everyone—a holy silence. Listen!"

Speak Jesus, Speak Holy Spirit. Quiet all voices. He is speaking. My Lord speaks. He speaks. But I have questions. Why? Why aren't you...Why haven't you...Are you going to...How will you...

"1 What's God going to say to my questions? I'm braced for the worst. I'll climb to the lookout tower and scan the horizon.I'll wait to see what God says, how he'll answer my complaint.
And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see.Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run.This vision-message is a witness - pointing to what's coming.It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie.If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. " Habakkuk 2:1-3

It aches, my inner ache for His comming. His Words. Life come forth. Life come Forth! Laura's heart is moving. I feel her moving. But she has tears. She weeps. She weeps. All the things her heart felt at so young. Little girl fear no more. Lies must be silent. She is His and His only. She is lovely. She is pure, she is wanted. She is needed. Laura is a delight to the Father's heart. She is next to Him now. She has His authority.

He loves me. Jesus loves me. He sees me. He broke through my pain. He broke through the hard places. I call forth more freedom. I call forth freedom. I call forth Freedom. Hold me back no more. Hold me back no more. Reflections. Reflected on His power. Reflected on His glory. Reflected on His heart. His heart for me. He loves me. He is strong. He is Holy. Holy Holy Holy. My heart knows no other Holyness. My heart craves no other Holyness. The beauty of His face. The beauty of His thrown. Lord, Lord Jesus. Your goodness. I crave your goodness. Show your mercy, show your power to do all things. My heart needs all things.

Praise be to the only Holy one. The only Holy one.

Habakkuk 2:20 "But oh! God is in his holy Temple! Quiet everyone—a holy silence. Listen!"

Monday, May 12, 2008

A weekend of Fun, Sun and ...












I was in Hot Springs, Arkanas this weekend for my brother's graduation. The lover boy came along. It was really nice to have him there. I love love love Hot Springs. That is where I spent every summer as a young girl swimming at my grandmother's lake house. O the days...
The last pic was from the memorial marathon. I was proud of all of us who ran. It was a good day.









Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Things He Hates...Reminders to follow

There are six things the Lord hates-no, seven things he detests:
- haughty eyes (proud; snobbish; scornfully arrogant)
-a lying tongue
-hands thats kill the innocent
-a heart that plots evil
-feet that race to do wrong
-a false witness who pours out lies
-a person who sows discord among brothers

Crazy that he uses different bodie parts to show the Lord's hatred.

Scripture says that correction of discipline is the way to life.

Small mental reminders:
-people with good sense restrain their anger, they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs
-Avoid all perverse talk, stay far from corrupt speech
-Sow love, kindness, patience...in dew time you will reap love, kindess and patience.
-Discipline is a connerstone in God's way of life.
-judge a tree by its fruit

Monday, May 5, 2008

The Year of the Lord's Favor

Jesus came to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor. The jubilee, the year of cancellation of debts (Lev 25:8-17; Sloan 1977:39-41). What happened in that year, when debts were canceled and slaves were freed, pictures what Jesus brings for those who respond to his message of hope. Jesus builds on the picture of Isaiah's ministry, which also proclaimed such hope, and notes that what the prophet had proclaimed Jesus is fulfilling.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

How do I...

How do I learn to have a plan for tomorrow yet, be open to what tomorrow brings. This seems to be a road block for me. So much of a road block that at times can keep me from enjoying life.

Enough of those thoughts. I am going to the Oklahoma City Arts Festivle tonight with my main man...


I really like this guy. Wont go into detail, but one thing I can say that I really like is 1) he is a boy and 2) that at the heart of this whole thing called a "relationship" he is my friend. So he has completly fufilled his duties, boy and friend. :)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Martha Vs. Mary

"But the Lord said to her, My dear Martha, you are so upset over all these details. There is really only the one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it-- and I won't take it away from her." - Luke 10: 41-42

Sunday, April 20, 2008

My deep need, He Will Not Delay

"But may all who search for you, be filled with joy and gladness. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, " The Lord is great!" As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord is thinking about me right now. You are my helper and my savior. Do not delay. O my God."
- Ps 40:16-17

I need joy and gladness. I am poor and very needy, but the Lord, my God, my Savior is thinking of me, Laura Elizabeth Prince, right now. He has good things for me right now. He is my spring of living water. He is my guide. He promises to blindfold my mindseye and lead me over life's mountains through the river of the Holy Spirit, found in the deep places of my heart.

My heart's desire is know Him, to walk with Him. For Him to be my guide.

"He lifted me out of the pit of despair out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He gave me a new song to sing a hymn of praises to our God. Many will see what He has done and be astounded." Ps 40:2-3

Do not delay. O my God

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Tuesday, April 15, 2008




Invention rubberband. Many different purposes. Over all theme, to hold things together. Lets have a chat about friendships and the Love that holds them together. Love them and I hate them. Very normal here when I admitt that I like them when I FEEL loved and wanted, not to up on them when I don't. When you are inside the rubberband of best friendship you start out tight. You tell them all your hip and hops, you trust them, they like who you like and avoid your frustrating people not because they agree with the wrong you hold them to but because they are choosing to stand by you and not the middle ground. But then life brings about changes and you grow a bit apart. They start dating someone, you start dating someone, they get married and you breakup with yours. They move, you stay. They come home and you move and so on and so on. But there comes a time in each relationship where you decide, am I cool with the distance we now share in our friendship, or does the idea of getting out not not putting forward any efford sound more appleaing. Truth be told I have made both moves. I have stayed and I have left. And I hounestly can't tell you (once again because of my friend Illusion) if I did the right thing.

More to come...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Hope, Dreams and Illusions

Lets talk about Hope. Hope and I are friends. Very good friends I might add. There are a few events in my life where if she and I hadn't become buddy buddy, life would be much different these days. However... she has these two cousins, Dreams and Illusions and they all hang out together in my mind. This is a problem. Dreams and I get along great when I see a path which leads to her. She has the potential to bring about life and she also can bring about disappointment. But Illusions, that chicka only brings confusion to my heart. So here is the deal. I would love to separate the three, but no can do at this point in my life. These three girls all run together. Hope is my anchor friend. She reminds me that all things work together for those who love Christ, that He is good and believing the best about this world will do you right. Dreams can cast vision of tomorrows Hopes. Illusion and I don't get along. The freakin girl drives me up the wall. She is the one who whispers lies about how my life would have been different if I hadn't... or this friendship wouldn't have ended if I had been more patient, or my life would have looked like this...if I had gone to a different school. She never quits.

And Illusion has a straight path to my emotions. One two three and she has me all tightened up. She gives the illution that I wish life would look different (when maybe I really like how life is going) or tell me that this relationship issue with my friends, or family or boyfriend is all their problem when in reality it is mine.

So back to Hope. I want us to be better friends and we will. But Illusion and I need to have it out before Hope and I become better friends.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Finally a Love Come True

I bought a house yesterday. I have wanted to buy a house since I was like two. Seriously, large dream come true. I think I always thought I would have to wait to get married to have my own home, which was always a frustrating thing for me because marriage is never in ones timing much less mine. This is the crazy thing, people have been asking me if I am nervous about owning a home, and truth be told there is nothing in me that is nervous. Most emotions I have revolve around the finally feeling. I can't wait to paint. I bought a book on how to paint things in an unique way long time ago and now I can do something about it.

My house is a male. I am good with that. Makes me feel safe.

Only more to come