Letting go and having to be held

I know, very ugly animal. Not really something that makes me think “cute”. But when I think about my attitude towards “My” will and hopes in life, this animal comes to mind…the badger. They are known for biting down and not letting go.

Biting down and not letting go, what does this remind me of…

I have plans for my life. I have goals and I have aspirations. And I have them in a some what sold grip. However, small detail, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. For those of you who didn’t follow that train of thought, let me spell it out for you.. Contradiction

So what do I have a strong grip on? I have a strong grip on wanting to be happy and secure. I want to know every thing is going to be ok and I will be happy.

From the outside this looks simple. I am holding tightly to myself hoping myself will come through for me. Unfortunately, I don’t trust myself. So this leaves me with a strong grip on nothing.

I must try and retrain my thinking to believe that I am holding nothing but I am the one being held. My whole lively hood is not mine to obtain. All my wants and needs in this life are not mine to fulfill.

If you haven’t seen the recent Narnia, you must. At one point in the movie the oldest girl states she had just gotten used to living in London and then she is whisked way to Narnia. But what she don’t realize is that she and her brothers and sister have been chosen out of the hundreds of millions to save Narnia, to have more adventures and see more things that anyone could ever imagine. But her grip was tightly held to her plan, wanting to live life out of Narnia where it is consistent and safe. I think this girl and I have something in common.

Let us live.