Not what they seem

Well last time a wrote life was difficult, but I thought I had an idea how to battle the attacks. Well now I have come to find out a good majority of my attacks have been because of some medicine I have been taking and because I am really sick. I had some blood work done yesterday only to learn my white blood cells are high. So in light of this news, this whole time I have been telling myself "it's in all in your head", not true. Yes, I do struggle with with panic, but all this recent sickness has been just that, sickness. 

It is crazy what longer term sickness does to your life. Makes you stop and think about all the pure things that bring you joy and all the things that are the unnecessary costs. So many things in my life are not the true joy givers. Family, friends, health, these things are a must have. My parents have been true life savers. The other night I was throwing up in my garage and my daddy was there is 2 minuets helping me and cleaning me up. He helped calm my fears and I felt safe with him. My dad was there for me and I was blessed to see his tender heart and compassion. 

Andy has been so great too. There are lots of things women need in a man, but just to have a man who tells me I am beautiful with no weight on me or a shower in many days, this sweet eyes of kindness have helped heal my heart of fear and help with the healing processes. 

In my sickness I have learned just how blessed I am.