None can keep alive his own soul...

"In order to preserve our spirits, we must have food continually from above and visitations from the Lord. We do not find life in ourselves, but in our Lord. Apart from Him, we could not exist spiritually, even for a moment. We cannot keep our own souls alive through any grace of our own."

I believe this passage is a statement of death. To say that I can no longer help myself, is the very end of me. And the hope is that Jesus is on the other end. The thoughts of this world scream that if you come to the end of yourself you will die. Which is true. But, Jesus didn't end the statement there.

If you want to find life you must loose it.
If you abide in me, you will find life.

Have you ever had a day were you find yourself wanting more visitations from the Lord? If I can't find life in myself, if there is no good thing in and of myself and life is only found in His Glory, His Goodness...How can I loose more of my life?

"If we are right in our hearts, we will honor Him more and more every day, as we more and more perceive our indebtedness to Him. He is our daily bread on which we feed continually, and the living water of which we drink continually."

Let us loose a little more today.

Life Changes

So Andy and I got married. We got married!?!? And the best word that I can come up with these days is "REST". You really don't realize how much you are in your brain before you get married. Even though Andy and I were really happy and in love with each other, there are still these survivor got to watch out for myself thoughts that plagued both our minds. But then the big day came, we made the choice of each other in front of all our friends.---------------- and then we slept and slept and slept. We slept for days for many reasons, one because of all the fun planning you have to undertake for your whole engagement, and then second, because we had finally make the final choice.

Jesus has truly blessed us these days. With Andy's new job, living next to the Smiths,(which is fun on so many levels, but mainly for me getting to see Graham on a regular bases has worked some cool things in my heart. Jesus has been taking me on a long road of his heart for me and he has used Graham in the process. Though you can't rely on the affection of a toddler, when Graham gets really happy to play with me, the Lord has been showing me how excited He is to play with me. Long side note!)

Fun travels are ahead. 26 years single. 6 weeks married.

Sunday Night Wine

Last night Andrew and I had a lovely evening sipping on peach white wine and tasty home made ice cream in the back yard of Randy and Annette McDaniel. Really great people. Randi has now decided to build a pool in his back yard, which Andrew and I know is from the Lord because we are pool people who don't have a pool.So we gave our blessing.

The evening was so nice. The weather was perfect, and the community was even better. Annette and I have been friends for about 4 1/2 years, but I would say we have been really good friends for about 3 or so. I like this girl. She speaks her mind about a lot of things and is very encouraging to me in my life struggles these days.

And yesterday, Andy and I found out that we will be living in THE VILLAGE! Thank you Jesus for giving us direction. We will be living in Ryan Smith's rent house which will be fun just because we love the neighborhood and because the Smith's are good people. Plus a hand fully of some other great people (Calli, Eric, Ryan and Kristen,The McDaniel's and the Bottomlys) all live just blocks away. Looking forward to some good times in that house!

Jesus Speaks...as the Lion

O How I LOVE JESUS...

"He lives in you, he lives in me. He watches over, everything we see."~ The Lion King

He Desires so greatly to speak loving words to us. He uses anything he can get His Voice through. To the natural man, the lion king is just a great musical, but to my hears, Jesus was speaking loving words that built deep roots of trust. Scriptures calls Jesus the "Lion", the KING.

Please go right now and listen to that song, close your eyes and imagine your King singing these words over your soul.

Jesus has passion for my heart. He loves to dance over me. O great is His love for His children. And I am one of His little ones. He loves me. He loves me. Chains are gone in His presence. In His presence is complete joy.

Joy made complete brings my freedom. Freedom for all of us looks different. For me it means I can breath with out fear. Fear of panic. Panic is just years of fear. There is no reason for panic, that is what makes it so painful. You don't know what your afraid of, your just afraid.

BUT JESUS LOVES ME! And Jesus's love is greater and more powerful then the fear, so much more powerful then the panic. Because HE is my shield, He is my safe place, He is my hope, He is all that I have, which is more than any one person in this whole world.

I will live in His love, I will rest in His home, I say of the Lord, He is my safe place.
He lives in me...

She Weds

I've been invited to Your wedding. Never have I danced, but your arms beckon my movement.
Crystal stars decorate your overlapping vineyard and the sleeping beauty creation has awaken to dance on the river of joy. Wine runs deep in our bellies to reminds us we are free.

"I do" ring through the forests and the rocks, who now cry out "The bridegroom has come." Let the eyes of Israel fall on his strength. The children's laughter swims deep in the hearts of men and the His graces give way to Zions feet.

She is Wed.

Jesus I will mediated on your majestic glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.

Soon to be Laura Elizabeth Edwards!

I am getting married in a few months. Really crazy. Andy has successfully surprised my all this way, first with asking me on a date, then with telling me that he loved me and now with asking me to be his wife. Life is good.

And he did a great job with the proposal. Located just outside of the city of Austin is this wonderful vineyard. He took me there, filled my hears with "Baby I want you" by Amos Lee (sp?) and his sweet words but I all I could see were his eyes filling with tears, which spoke way deep down to the core of my heart - this man loves me. To know that you are really loved by someone, to know they love you and fully enjoy your company is life giving.

Love is this crazy life giving circle. I love Andy for so many reasons, but one big one is because he loves me. And I think Andy loves me, but I think he loves me because I love him.

I am getting married soon.

Healing the wound.

"Fear is like a wound within our emotions. You Heal a fear much like you heal a cut on your hand. If you ignore a cut on your hand, it will get infected. But if will heal itself if you pay attention to it and give it time. Same with fear. First, recognize its existence-what kind of fear is it? Is it fear of poverty, of loneliness, of rejection? Then use common sense. Don't let the fear get infected. Often we burn 70 percent of our emotional energy on what we fear might happen. By devoting our energy to our other emotions, we will heal naturally." -Destiny vs. Self-Creating Meaning.

So ready...

I need some discipline. I used to be the queen of discipline. Up at 5:30am every morning, run 3-4 miles at night, and a class on the side. But these days, not much of that going on. But I am wanting to get back to those days. Not really the 5:30am part, but I would like to start running again and I need to finish this psychology class I am taking.

Little by little, I will try.

This morning was really nice. Spent some good time with Jesus, church, and then lunch with Andy's parents at Red Rock. I love Red Rock. I love the food and atmosphere.

A restaurant's atmosphere is very important to me. I would say almost as important as the food. Happy Sunday!

I CUTE MY hair

Earthly things I would like to have

This morning I woke up and decided I really wanted to have some earthly things. Which I know at first doesn't sound christian, but the truth is... this is a good sign that I am getting back to my old self. Not that I was a real matierial person, but I did have goals I was working toward, and some of them did include saving money to get some things :) So.... here are some of those things!

I really like these cars:)

Any thing at this point would be an upgrade!

And I love dresses!

Moving water

Life moves and pain comes from not moving with it. Think about it. Life is a moving river, pushing rocks, branches along the long bay. But when a branch gets stuck, it just begs to get back on the moving path.

Movement is very important. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. We all need to move about more.

When you get a shot, a good doctor will tell you to keep it moving or it will get sore. When your feelings get hurt, it is really important to voice the pain, but then to ..... keep moving. When you don't move spiritually, you become nasty harm. Not good.

I cut my hair. O it feels really good. It is really short. REALLY short. But I did it. I moved.

I love life. Good times are ahead. Such great things. Peoples, ideas, projects, love making :), new friendships, more freedom, and the best of all...the kingdom is coming.

Free as a Bee in the Summer...

Freedom is one of the best feelings ever. And there is so much freedom to be had. Just this morning I become just a little bit more free. For the every first time today I heard the blood of Jesus. There seems to be this journey I have been on with learning the power of the blood. Yes in my head I know that blood has saved my life, but I never dreamed that the blood could release me from the darkness of fear, or the pain of generational sin, or the need to see the future to be "at rest". Do you want to know what this means in my practical life? It means I don't have to do a thing, I don't have to lift the load, dance around the barn ten times, I don't have to stay on wounded places for the sake of justice. I only have to trust that he loves me and that he will take care of me.

I am free, free to sleep in or get up, free to love, free to trust. Free to renew my heart and then start trusting its desires. One baby step at a time.

Today I went and had lunch with a whole new crowd. And I have to say, I really do like people of all sorts of personalities. I love guys and girls, I love the singles and the married. I love the different places people are in. Jackie's tattoo is right, love does win. Find me there, find me in love these days.

Growing Old with the Farm in the Dale

Today I took my grandmother out for a drive. This woman just makes me laugh. She, like many women her age is battling Alzheimer's, which is plainly heard by her continuous concern of finding her car. "I have been waiting all day to get my car, have you seen my car, it is red" June Nelson demands. My mom just reminds her that she can't drive any more, that she would have to retake her drivers test just to get in the drivers set. But my approach is much different. I like to tell her that I have been looking for it all day, that I understand her need for a car and am doing ever thing in my power to help her.

But all in all I think my grandmother is happy. She always tells me how great life is which is followed continuously by the grand old song, "The Farmer in the Dale, the farmer and the dale, high ho the deary the farm in the dale."

I think I am going to start singing that song now. I kinda like it.

New Season... of talking it out.

I love new seasons. I really don't know why, but I do. I love trying to figure things out for the first time. I love see a movie for the first time. I just love change.

Dating is a very interesting season. I have really enjoyed my time with Andy. There are great parts and what I like to call stretching parts. Today I am going to chat a little about the stretching parts. The issue I am dealing with right now has nothing to do with Andy, it has to do with making future plans that would affect him. When you are dating someone you really learn to live in the present. You go on dates, you hang with people, you get to know each other's family and so on. But what about the decisions that affect the future? Like jobs, and timing of events and friends and church and just plan and simple things like what do I want to do with my summer?

All in all the real thing is I know have to ask the Lord about my future and I also have to run it by another man. For years now I have be the Boss. I have prayed, heard from Jesus and made a move, but now I do all the same.... and run it by Mr. Edwards. What happens when he doesn't like my thoughts on a matter? What happens when I have to wait a little longer on something I might have done faster on my own? Well that is one of the beauts of dating.

And now, it is looking like a new season is coming and what if he isn't on board? Well, I can tell all you readers now so that you don't dye in subs pence while I wait, Mr. Edwards is a good man and while I can't say he jumps when I say jump, he will hear me out, ask Jesus and then respond with love and openness.

I will keep you posted. :)

Snow White

I love snow and ice. I love the challenge of driving in the snow.

I am not working these days, (which will be changing come Feb 9th, God willing). And today Andy was off work as well. I love having this man around. Why you ask, because he is a complete joy to be around. Now we have our differences and disagreements, but he is a wonderful friend. A good friend, a truly great friend will bring life to your bones.

Today he and I took several trips out and about. Taco Buano served as a lunch and Braum's gave us some desert. Andy and I are the crazy people who like Braum's yogurt ice cream late at night.

How much of our life is prescript ed in our heads? I heard a teaching today that said religious people tend to not recognize Jesus in everyday life because they already have a script for their day. Ice and snow remove the script. These are good days to have the scripts changed up a bit.

Remove the scripts and see Jesus in new lights.

Door closed, Door OPEN

So, I have resigned from Devon, (and I smile). I worked for Devon for two years. That is the longest I have ever worked for any organization.



Just this week Devon was named the 13th best company to work for. I just left the 13th best company to work for, by Fortune's standards. But what about my standards? It doesn't hit quite as high.



I haven't been working for almost a month and a half now. That is the longest I have ever not worked. And what I have come to understand is that I really haven't missed it.



So what have I missed? Passion. Plainly put, I have missed having a Passion about life and work. It was like my heart couldn't go any more. For two years I have been working in a job that I don't like. I changed half way through, but still nothing. I pressed on for two reasons, MONEY and PARENTS.



Notice Jesus is not in there any where. Laura is not in there anywhere. Now I know that lots of people hate their jobs. I know that most people in this world have no Passion, but for some reason only God knows, it really took a toll on my body, heart and health to stay.


But Jesus is good. He renews your heart and mind. He promises to be all that I need, to give me all that I need. He promises to be my right hand, forgiveness of sin, of Restoration and for joy to by my strength.



Pressing on toward the goal. Pressing on!

The days of Interest

These last few months have been really stretching. I have had to open my thoughts to a lot of people for help and advice. When you are 26 years old this can be very difficult. But, hey when you really think about it, it is hard for any age.

I want a teach able heart. 12 Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge. Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding.

Wisdom is to work hard in life, to love God shown through obedience, to not love money and to love your neighbor. (not in that order :)

The good things in life, like joy and peace, patience, these are the things of my interest. I want them with all my heart. I want the Holy Spirit. I want His Fruit. These are my interest.

One year of Fun in the Sun!

Well...

This last weekend I celebrated my one year dating aniversery to Andy Edwards. And just as I am typing this information I am stund to think about it. Me, dating the same guy for one year. But lots of peole have dated each other for a year so I can't get the " O MY GOODNESS" from everyone, but trust me people this is big time!!

I love the sun. Love getting kisses from the sun.