Being a Woman means?

So for the past few months I have been taking a class called "5 Aspects of a Woman" at my church.

Interesting class.

I have learned a great deal about myself in this class. There are several controversial topics that have come from this class (working as a mother, sex before marriage, the role of women in the family and church as well as much more). And just like any group of women there is a large variation of opinions. But the most interesting thing I have learned about myself is that I fear being a mother because I thought it would be the death of me!

Ha! Who knew, not me!

The truth is that my life will change, death will come to a lot of my independence, but for the better.

Kids say the darndest things right? Old peolpe say the dardnest things. Case and point, Graham Smith says "Hold chou, hold chou", or Ben McDaniel say "Mussic Muusic" or Grama June says "Here meet my baby, and don't ask who the father is, because it is none of you damn busness." And I could go on and on.

Point in case-----I hope to learn, to see and to hear more these days from different perspectives (babies/grandmothers)... until the day Andrew and I welcome a new way of thinking and talking in our life.

Until then, we will just have to do young married people things ;)

None can keep alive his own soul...

"In order to preserve our spirits, we must have food continually from above and visitations from the Lord. We do not find life in ourselves, but in our Lord. Apart from Him, we could not exist spiritually, even for a moment. We cannot keep our own souls alive through any grace of our own."

I believe this passage is a statement of death. To say that I can no longer help myself, is the very end of me. And the hope is that Jesus is on the other end. The thoughts of this world scream that if you come to the end of yourself you will die. Which is true. But, Jesus didn't end the statement there.

If you want to find life you must loose it.
If you abide in me, you will find life.

Have you ever had a day were you find yourself wanting more visitations from the Lord? If I can't find life in myself, if there is no good thing in and of myself and life is only found in His Glory, His Goodness...How can I loose more of my life?

"If we are right in our hearts, we will honor Him more and more every day, as we more and more perceive our indebtedness to Him. He is our daily bread on which we feed continually, and the living water of which we drink continually."

Let us loose a little more today.

Life Changes

So Andy and I got married. We got married!?!? And the best word that I can come up with these days is "REST". You really don't realize how much you are in your brain before you get married. Even though Andy and I were really happy and in love with each other, there are still these survivor got to watch out for myself thoughts that plagued both our minds. But then the big day came, we made the choice of each other in front of all our friends.---------------- and then we slept and slept and slept. We slept for days for many reasons, one because of all the fun planning you have to undertake for your whole engagement, and then second, because we had finally make the final choice.

Jesus has truly blessed us these days. With Andy's new job, living next to the Smiths,(which is fun on so many levels, but mainly for me getting to see Graham on a regular bases has worked some cool things in my heart. Jesus has been taking me on a long road of his heart for me and he has used Graham in the process. Though you can't rely on the affection of a toddler, when Graham gets really happy to play with me, the Lord has been showing me how excited He is to play with me. Long side note!)

Fun travels are ahead. 26 years single. 6 weeks married.

Sunday Night Wine

Last night Andrew and I had a lovely evening sipping on peach white wine and tasty home made ice cream in the back yard of Randy and Annette McDaniel. Really great people. Randi has now decided to build a pool in his back yard, which Andrew and I know is from the Lord because we are pool people who don't have a pool.So we gave our blessing.

The evening was so nice. The weather was perfect, and the community was even better. Annette and I have been friends for about 4 1/2 years, but I would say we have been really good friends for about 3 or so. I like this girl. She speaks her mind about a lot of things and is very encouraging to me in my life struggles these days.

And yesterday, Andy and I found out that we will be living in THE VILLAGE! Thank you Jesus for giving us direction. We will be living in Ryan Smith's rent house which will be fun just because we love the neighborhood and because the Smith's are good people. Plus a hand fully of some other great people (Calli, Eric, Ryan and Kristen,The McDaniel's and the Bottomlys) all live just blocks away. Looking forward to some good times in that house!

Jesus Speaks...as the Lion

O How I LOVE JESUS...

"He lives in you, he lives in me. He watches over, everything we see."~ The Lion King

He Desires so greatly to speak loving words to us. He uses anything he can get His Voice through. To the natural man, the lion king is just a great musical, but to my hears, Jesus was speaking loving words that built deep roots of trust. Scriptures calls Jesus the "Lion", the KING.

Please go right now and listen to that song, close your eyes and imagine your King singing these words over your soul.

Jesus has passion for my heart. He loves to dance over me. O great is His love for His children. And I am one of His little ones. He loves me. He loves me. Chains are gone in His presence. In His presence is complete joy.

Joy made complete brings my freedom. Freedom for all of us looks different. For me it means I can breath with out fear. Fear of panic. Panic is just years of fear. There is no reason for panic, that is what makes it so painful. You don't know what your afraid of, your just afraid.

BUT JESUS LOVES ME! And Jesus's love is greater and more powerful then the fear, so much more powerful then the panic. Because HE is my shield, He is my safe place, He is my hope, He is all that I have, which is more than any one person in this whole world.

I will live in His love, I will rest in His home, I say of the Lord, He is my safe place.
He lives in me...

She Weds

I've been invited to Your wedding. Never have I danced, but your arms beckon my movement.
Crystal stars decorate your overlapping vineyard and the sleeping beauty creation has awaken to dance on the river of joy. Wine runs deep in our bellies to reminds us we are free.

"I do" ring through the forests and the rocks, who now cry out "The bridegroom has come." Let the eyes of Israel fall on his strength. The children's laughter swims deep in the hearts of men and the His graces give way to Zions feet.

She is Wed.

Jesus I will mediated on your majestic glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.

Soon to be Laura Elizabeth Edwards!

I am getting married in a few months. Really crazy. Andy has successfully surprised my all this way, first with asking me on a date, then with telling me that he loved me and now with asking me to be his wife. Life is good.

And he did a great job with the proposal. Located just outside of the city of Austin is this wonderful vineyard. He took me there, filled my hears with "Baby I want you" by Amos Lee (sp?) and his sweet words but I all I could see were his eyes filling with tears, which spoke way deep down to the core of my heart - this man loves me. To know that you are really loved by someone, to know they love you and fully enjoy your company is life giving.

Love is this crazy life giving circle. I love Andy for so many reasons, but one big one is because he loves me. And I think Andy loves me, but I think he loves me because I love him.

I am getting married soon.